Wee Small Hours

October 12, 2010 0408

In the wee small hours I might perceive moments of clarity that fade as I look for pen or keyboard. Perhaps after several, of these perceived moments of clarity in the wee small hours these perceived perceptions of clarity may gather long enough for me to coral a few with paper or computer program to remember or dismember or to distribute to other members and visitors of the wee small hours.

Time invested in learning living these days and years since awakening from the self induced coma offer skills to asses where I am in time, in space, in mind. I ask myself: “am I in line?” Or merely queuing, queerly quarrying queries? Shall I continue to pine? Or to mine to find and walk a thin line this time towards lengthening these moments of perceived clarity and find myself living in these moments, not previously, not ahead – yet not just of this moment but all the moments with NOW right here at the epicenter. Once again I am reminded: “Be here now” that I have so often spoken, often in jest as: “Be there then” and also remembering something I think wise: “It’s the journey, not the destination”. Perhaps to keep them both in mind I might combine: “Be the journey” Thank you Obi-Wan Kenobi of my mind.

In this wee small hour I found the time to take a snapshot, to record a glimpse of these thoughts to share. and in so doing this writing and too the sharing perhaps give caring.

Ahh the wee small hours fading now as dawn wakens the day. Thank you time, thank you coma, thank you awakening, thank you wee small hours. It’s nice to have kept these glimmerings of perception in the foreground of my mind long enough for these moments of living here now as I compose this snapshot, recording this glimmering I perceive as clarity. In this way I look forward to many more sleepless nights, as I look to find and record the words of thoughts I may want to keep to think again in that foreground of my mind. Banging my head against a wall of brain fog ‘cause it feels so good when I stop – for the wee small hours.

jeffa 2010

A note about the composition. I pretty much wrote this in one 45 minute period about 4am a day ago. Today I added perhaps four or five half sentences just prior to posting it on my blog. I plan to share it tonight at a poetry slam. I think it deserves another edit, perhaps I’ll find the time in line. <huh?>

It’s interesting to me that as I read it I have an emotional reaction. I feel that, at least for me, I’ve successfully recorded a deep thought in a manner that can be reproduced. Interesting. The number of sleepless nights, the number of scraps of paper, and beginnings in temporary documents in my trusty word processor before I can articulate and capture enough of a thought to get it recorded before it fades. And once recorded it can be thought upon again. Cool! :-)